So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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