i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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