Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
