holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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