im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
