They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
