she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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