At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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