I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
