I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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