see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
