Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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