i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
