She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
