At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
