yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
