I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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