I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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