I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
