We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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