I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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