I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
