a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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