im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
