he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
