Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I need moral support for this bender
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize