Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think people are normalizing furries
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
