im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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