she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
