he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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