I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize