Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Michael Bay diarrhea
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
