kristin has been a bad kristin
He kissed a someone with a penis
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
