it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
