Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
