At least make sure they are 18
Why
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
