I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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