True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
