yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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