In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
