She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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