I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
