sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
