Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
