Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
