you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
