I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
