I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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