So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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