what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
