dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
