i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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