We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
