thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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