Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
