so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
