i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
