Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
