ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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