I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize