Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
