I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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